When Geeks Marry, this is what happens

"So, were you biologically attracted to me?"

"Well, there was certainly some chemistry between us!"

Buh-DUM-dum!

The First Time I Cleaned the Oven in a Embarrassing Number of Years

Note - this actually happened last... April I think. Finally finished polishing it up & posting it now. (Yes, pun intended.)

I am a creature of habit. You can always find me in the grocery store in the moddle of the afternoon on a Sunday. Which is why it was so odd to find me there on a Tuesday night, muttering to myself as I searched for oven cleaner.

You see, one afternoon, I decided to make bagel chips. I have no idea why we had all the bagels, but they were going to go stale before we could ever finish them.

I'd never made bagel chips before, but it seemed simple enough: slice very thinly, and dip in a bowl filled with oil & any spices you deem necessary. (Mine included lots of garlic & Italian seasoning, in case you were interested.) I might have gotten a little carried away with the olive oil, and some might have dripped off the pan and into the back of the oven.

I mention this because I was running late and took the bagel chips out to a friend's house without cleaning the kitchen first. When it came time that evening to start cleaning, I completely forgot about the oil in the oven.

About two weeks later, Husband decided we having frozen pizza for dinner. No, this was not the first time we'd used the oven since the oilspill, but apparently it was the "magic night."

As he opened the oven door to put the pizza in.... WOOSH!!

From the other room, I could hear a few things:

Bug: Fire! Fire!
Bird: Get away from the fire Daddy! Fire is hot! Stop, drop and roll!!

Husband: Amuses himself by closing the oven door, watching the flames die a little, then opening it & watching them reignite.

Bird: Get AWAY from the fire Daddy!! It's HOT!! Stop, drop and roll!!

She was getting more than a little panicked at this point, so he grabbed the fire extinguisher and put an end to the madness.

Now, if you've never seen the aftermath of a fire extinguisher.... it's not pretty. There's a powdery white chemical residue covering everything within a 4-foot radius of where you sprayed.

Once we sprayed the aforementioned oven cleaner, it took about 2 hours for it to work its magic. I have to say, I was pleased by how quickly all the chemicals, grease, and grime came out. I was horrified by how many paper towels it took (my apologies to the rainforest!).

But my oven is very sparkly now.

Toot, Toot!

My regular chem class is a little surprising this year - there are only 15 of them (my Honors is bigger, for once. 25! eek!), half of whom are seniors. It makes for interesting dynamics because a) they're chattier, and b) their work is... haphazard at times. I'm glad they decided to challenge themselves in their last year of high school, but it does keep me on my toes!!

After class on Monday one of my senior girls asked me if I remembered a former student. I did (yay! memory still intact); I taught him chemistry, and then he was in my very first section of physics. I mention this because that first year of physics was a class that kicked me to the curb - content wise. There were so many days I told them I'd get back to them with answers to their questions, run home, get Husband to explain it to me, and then go back and explain it to them.

Anyhow, to make a long story short (too late?!), she told me about a conversation she'd had with him. She told him that she was in my chemistry class, at which point he told her, "Pay attention to everything she says. You will never again hear anybody explain anything so well."

Wow.

A week? Really?

Wow, I can't believe it's been a week since my last post!! I also wish I had something really spiffy to show for it.

Wait... I am filling the minds of our youth with knowledge and logic! That's got to be worth something, right?

In all seriousness, this 5th prep (in other words, I teach 5 different classes) is really kicking my proverbial hiney. And my real rear end too. I have seriously spent every spare moment this week either teaching, grading the fruits of my labor, or preparing new offerings. Which means I am writing more than ever. Just not here. I kind of miss it, but with very little going on that would come across as interesting.

How boring can this entry get?!

(You really shouldn't have asked. Some day I might answer that.)

Anyhow, I think I have just enough time to type out my grocery list for tomorrow, so I'll get on that....

Can't get the song out of my head

You might have heard a bit about the nifty new particle accelerator over in Switzerland - you know, the one helping us learn more about the Big Bang. (ahem).

Anyhow, here's a nifty way of explaining what it does. I think I might have to show it to my physics class.

An Entry from Bird's Dictionary

Bird and Bug have been playing with their (really big) Legos this morning. So for the past 15 minutes or so I've been looking at all kinds of towers & houses. Then Bird came up with quite a winner:

"Here's my house Mommy! This is the part we live in, and this part is for tramping."
Ummm... whaaat?
"This is where we go tramping!"
What is tramping?
"It's what Mommies & Daddies can do."
(Now wondering what she's picked up at school....) Bird, I don't understand. What is tramping?

So, she came up right next to me (because clearly I am slow!) and whispers in my ear:
"When we go on vacation."

Ohhhh - CAMPING!!! She'd built a house with an RV attached!!

I remember

I'm Still Waiting for Hamlet

Since Bird has started Kindergarten, her interest in writing has increased to levels I didn't know existed. Mind you, there are plenty of times she has no interest in writing letters the correct way, but she's still writing all the time.

Considering she's 5, she doesn't really understand the concept of spelling yet. Therefore, she is really just writing whatever letter pops into her head. This past week, she's managed to write 3 words. Completely randomly:

ATOM
I'd love to say she's my little chemist. I wonder. She still tends to write all her numbers backwards though.

CAUTION
How is this statistically possible?! Yet we couldn't find anything in her room that she could have copied from!

DAMN
Even better, it was on the board in my classroom. Lovely.

What goes on behind those doors?!

When Bird started preschool last August, her teachers celebrated when she began talking in class in October.

Bug, it seems, does not have that issue! Apparently, if he acts even remotely quiet, he might require hospitalization. Or maybe just some really good meds.

Let me back up a bit... I received a phone call from Bug's teacher in the middle of a Chemistry class. (note to self: turn up ringer volume! I'm still amazed I heard it from the depths of my tote bag.) She was calling to let me know that Bug had been feeling strangely quiet, had a slight fever (only 99F), and was complaining that his ear hurt. She was about to feed him snack, and said she would call me back to let me know how he was doing and if he needed to go home.

After I gave her Husband's cell phone number & asked her to bother inform him instead of any new developments, I just started emailing him myself. (After I finished explaining today's lab to my class and got them started, in case you were wondering. No free time for them!).

Husband decided to just go to the school and pick Bug up, since his job is a good 45 minutes away. When he arrived, he ran into several people who commented to the effect of "Oh, I hope Bug is okay/he seemed so sad this morning/I guess he's not feeling well!!"

I bet you can guess what Husband found in Bug's classroom. That's right: Bug, without a trace of any problem! Husband asked him about his ear. Bug's reply? "Yes, my ear hurt. It not hurt now!"

I mean, what is this kid doing that one slightly quiet morning on his 4th day of school is cause for alarm?!

Alternate closing thought: WHAT THE HECK were these people thinking, calling me for a 99F temperature?!?! (I know, I know, better safe than sorry...)

Labors

Apparently, I just need some really good prompt ideas for blog entries these days. (In reality, I just need to make TIME to write again.)

Grabbed this from Shannon at Rocks In My Dryer this morning, in honor of Labor Day.


How long were your labors?
Bird - 10 hours
Bug - 5 hours

This has always been my answer. The more I think about it, though, I think Bird's was closer to 5 hours.... I will explain myself in the following prompts.

How did you know you were in labor?
Bird & Bug - water broke. I loved it. No question whatsoever that there was a child on the way!!

Bird's water broke in the classic style - there was fluid gushing everywhere. Thankfully, we were in front of Target at the time, so I sent Husband in for lots of bags so that I wouldn't wreck my car.

That was the only indication with her, however, as there were no contractions. And there weren't any for quite some time.

Bug, however, in his eternally helpful manner, plugged up the leak with his head. So although *I* knew they'd broken, the nurses at the hospital did not believe me. Even though I had contactions every 6 minutes - and coming more & more rapidly as time went on.

Where did you deliver?
At a hospital. Very happily. They have medication.

Drugs?
YES.

With Bird, even though my water had broken, my body was not interested in actually expelling her. I ended up on a pitocin drip, and they very nicely gave me the epidural before they started that. That drip started around 1am, and she was born around 6am (hence the 5-hour labor)

Bug was a whole other story. The triage nurses didn't believe I was in labor, since their little test strips did not indicate my water had broken. No matter how many times I'd told them I'd done this once already, they implied that I'd probably just lost control of my bladder and didn't know it.

They finally gave me a bed, since I knew I wasn't leaving the building without a baby. (To be fair, the place was full, and they did give me one as soon as it was available). And since I was in triage, I got to feel the contractions EVERY STINKIN TIME THEY CAME, as they are not allowed to give you meds.

Remember, they did not believe I was delivering that night, so nobody was checking me either. Husband was finally able to convince someone that I was threatening his safety. Which I suppose was fair. I did tell him that I could pull his pancreas out through his nose so he could feel what I was feeling.

Amazingly enough, I was 8cm at this point (I'd only been in that bed for 2 hours). That got them hopping! I was in a room in 10 minutes, and about 9cm. The triage nurse redeemed herself - the epidural guy was waiting for me in my labor room.

Let me tell you - I HELD STILL. And he hooked me up. I hit 10cm aobut 5 minutes later.

C-section?
No.

Who delivered?
Doctors. And just barely with Bug, as he really was in a rush to get out a month early.