Some Etiquette Lessons are just Lost on Kids

Today is Nana's birthday, so Husband called to wish her a Happy Birthday. Naturally, the kids couldn't be left out, so they got to talk to her too. Bug's conversation was short & sweet, but Bird's was... amusing:

Bird: Happy Birthday Nana!!
Nana: something
Bird: How old are you now?
Nana: answers
Bird: Wow, that's a big number!!

Crossing a New Threshhold...

In case I ever had any doubt, my baby is definitely NOT a baby anymore!! She was quite excited by the whole thing, really. And here she is, fake smiling to show you.

Looking at this picture, I kind of wonder if I should change the sidebar of our pics over there. Nah... I don't want to take a pic of MY teeth!

In case you had trouble telling...

Bug: Do you know what bad guys look like Mommy?
Me: I don't think there's an exact dress code.
Bug: Bad guys don't wear underwear.
Me: They don't?
Bug: NO! They are only wearing pants.

So now you know.

How to Throw a Disasterous Birthday Party

My baby turned SIX this past weekend. (Ack!) Naturally, being the social butterfly that she is, we had to have a birthday party. She really wanted to have it at a local playground (yes! procrastinating deep housecleaning until summer vacation!), and for the first time, we were letting her invite friends from school.

She had fun, but it didn't exactly turn out as planned. So, if you wanted to know how NOT to throw a party, here you go:

- Pick the hottest weekend in May.
- Host the party at a playground with very little shade over the picnic tables. (Although this does make for some amusement when all the parents are huddled in the shadow of the bathroom building!)
- Ensure that the bathrooms do not have any soap in them. (Thank heavens Auntie R brought hand sanitizer!)
- Invite friends from school - the ones whose parents you don't know & don't have the decency to RSVP, so you can't exactly call them up & see if they're coming so you aren't sure if there will be 25 people coming to the park or 45. (I mean, really!)
- Invite friends from school - especially when they're still little enough bring their parents. (Because then, they can all huddle up and complain about the school. Ostracizing me, cause there's no way you'd catch me in that conversation. I'd like to keep my job, thankyouverymuch.)
- Put the cake in a shady spot - mainly to ensure the ants eat the cake before anybody else can. (Again, Auntie R to the rescue - she ran an emergency Publx trip for a replacement cake!)

Most importantly, Bird had a really good time, and I had other friends there that I could hang out with & talk to. (Yes, Mom I did the hostess thing & made sure I talked to all the grownups!)
Next year, though, I kind of want to talk Bird into someplace cold.

Mother's Day Mad Libs

Last year, I had an awful lot of fun reading what Bird thought about me... this year both kids had the chance to do some Mommy Mad Libbing in their classes.

My Mom - by Bug

Her hair is brown.

Her eyes are white. (It could have been worse. One kid said his mom had pink hair & orange eyes.)

She is 14 years old. (Well, at least an improvement from last year's 1500!)

Her favorite food is all the food. (Um....)

Her favorite color is pink. (No, but his is.)

Her favorite TV show is all the movies. (I had to laugh at this one. Other kids were naming actual TV shows. My kids don't watch live TV... neither do I, really so he was right.)

Her favorite thing to do is whatever she wants to. (How right he is. Husband couldn't stop laughing at this one.)

I love my mommy most when she plays with me!


My Mom is Special - by Bird

My mom is special because she cooks eggs. (My cake baking doesn't even hit the list. But the eggs I made for her once or twice... home run!)

I like it when my Mom plays with me. (I'm sensing a theme here.)

I like to make my mom smile by liking her. (Awww....)

My Mom is smart! She even knows that there's flowers in the cupboards. (Yeah, I don't get it either. Maybe it was supposed to be flour? Except that doesn't really make sense either.)

Happy Mother's Day!!

Her Memory Astounds Me

All I have to say about Easter is

- Bird was up early.
- She completely forgot that she was getting an Easter basket, so she didn't pester us to go look for it while we waited for Bug to wake up.
- Once both kids were up and we told them to go look for their baskets, she went immediately to the place where we hid her basket last year.

Yes, I have the child who can't find the shoes she wore yesterday, but if you need last years bag-o-treats, she's got you covered.

Tykes' Tips - Floor Coverings

I'm sure Martha Stewart once said that if you don't like your current flooring, you can alter the look by using area rugs.

My kids' interpretation? We don't know what area rugs are, but we have all these blankets that folks have made and/or bought for us, and they'll work just fine!

I swear he doesn't watch horror movies...

Earlier this afternoon, Husband was sitting on the couch & talking to a friend on the phone. Bug wandered over and asked who he was talking to. Husband replied "Mr. B.", at which point Bug began to have a conversation with Mr. B through Husband.

Bug: Tell Mr. B I'm going to throw a snowball at his house!
Mr. B: A snowball at my house?
Bug: Yes, and then your house will turn upside down!
Mr. B: But where will I sleep?
Bug: On the roof!!
Mr. B: The roof? But it will be lonely.
Bug: Don't worry, there will be squirrels there.
Mr. B: Oh, nice friendly squirrels.
Bug: NO! Mean squirrels! They'll eat your eyes and nose and ears!!!

Four

Dear Bug,

On the day of your actual birthday, the modem celebrated by frying itself. So this is written just a little late. Oh well.

Happy Birthday, Big Boy!! Now you are four years old. And you have been oh-so-excited to tell everyone about it too. Any new ability you have is due to your old age. (My feet touch the floor! It's because I'm FOUR!!) I'm starting to wonder if FOUR is really a verb & not an... adjective??

You requested an alligator birthday cake, so we celebrated by pretending the house was a jungle & had some of your monkey friends come join us. Or maybe we all just acted like monkeys. Whatever. There was laughter & sugar & fun & energy galore!! In fact, between the cake we had at home & the cupcakes you brought to school, you're due for a good old-fashioned sugar crash coma any day now....

It's been lots of fun Bug. I can't quite believe I don't have a toddler in the house anymore. But, if I'm being honest, you've been a toddler in name only for quite some time now. I suppose you do have to grow up sometime, as you are fond of reminding me.

I wish a wonderful year for you Bug. I hope you still want to snuggle every so often.

Love,
Mommy

Sound Byte

With Bug:

Bug: Okay, I'll be the baby and you be the Mommy?
Me: How do you know I'm the Mommy? Maybe I'm an alien? (yeah, I have no idea why I said it either!)
Bug: You're not an alien. You don't look like TE!!

How the child remembers ET when he's only seen him at Universal Studios is beyond me.

With Bird:

Bird: Mommy, what day is tomorrow?
Me: You tell me.
Bird: MONDAY!! Do we have school?
Me: Actually, no. Tomorrow is a special holiday.
Bird: Oh, okay!!

....

Bird: So who's going to come over?
Me: Erm...

Not a bad way to spend a Sunday

Happy Thanksgiving

This Thanksgiving, I am thankful for these two turkeys.


(that's Bird on the left, and Bug on the right)

What amazes me is that they are almost 2 years apart, yet their hands are almost the same size.

Wordless Wednesday - Hiding

Bird: Smile Bug!

Bug: You can't see me!


photo courtesy of Bird

Modern Art?

"Mommy, look what I made!!"



Lovely, Bird, just lovely.

"Guess what it is?!"

This is always a dangerous game. I tend to see.... well, nothing that it actually is. (is it a house? no! it's you!) and then I have identity issues. (do I really look like a house?)

Thankfully, this time she took it easy on me:

"It's that thing that hangs in the back of your throat!!"



I can't wait until I hear about her using the word uvula in kindergarten.

Artistic Pumpkin Patch

If you've been reading here much, or if you just happen to know Bird, I bet you could pick out her pumpkin even if I didn't circle it:



I like to believe that she's an individual who likes to think for herself.

I already know she doesn't like being told what to do.

I love that she doesn't let common opinions sway her.

I do, however, dread her pre-teen and teenage years.

An Entry from Bird's Dictionary

Bird and Bug have been playing with their (really big) Legos this morning. So for the past 15 minutes or so I've been looking at all kinds of towers & houses. Then Bird came up with quite a winner:

"Here's my house Mommy! This is the part we live in, and this part is for tramping."
Ummm... whaaat?
"This is where we go tramping!"
What is tramping?
"It's what Mommies & Daddies can do."
(Now wondering what she's picked up at school....) Bird, I don't understand. What is tramping?

So, she came up right next to me (because clearly I am slow!) and whispers in my ear:
"When we go on vacation."

Ohhhh - CAMPING!!! She'd built a house with an RV attached!!

I'm Still Waiting for Hamlet

Since Bird has started Kindergarten, her interest in writing has increased to levels I didn't know existed. Mind you, there are plenty of times she has no interest in writing letters the correct way, but she's still writing all the time.

Considering she's 5, she doesn't really understand the concept of spelling yet. Therefore, she is really just writing whatever letter pops into her head. This past week, she's managed to write 3 words. Completely randomly:

ATOM
I'd love to say she's my little chemist. I wonder. She still tends to write all her numbers backwards though.

CAUTION
How is this statistically possible?! Yet we couldn't find anything in her room that she could have copied from!

DAMN
Even better, it was on the board in my classroom. Lovely.

What goes on behind those doors?!

When Bird started preschool last August, her teachers celebrated when she began talking in class in October.

Bug, it seems, does not have that issue! Apparently, if he acts even remotely quiet, he might require hospitalization. Or maybe just some really good meds.

Let me back up a bit... I received a phone call from Bug's teacher in the middle of a Chemistry class. (note to self: turn up ringer volume! I'm still amazed I heard it from the depths of my tote bag.) She was calling to let me know that Bug had been feeling strangely quiet, had a slight fever (only 99F), and was complaining that his ear hurt. She was about to feed him snack, and said she would call me back to let me know how he was doing and if he needed to go home.

After I gave her Husband's cell phone number & asked her to bother inform him instead of any new developments, I just started emailing him myself. (After I finished explaining today's lab to my class and got them started, in case you were wondering. No free time for them!).

Husband decided to just go to the school and pick Bug up, since his job is a good 45 minutes away. When he arrived, he ran into several people who commented to the effect of "Oh, I hope Bug is okay/he seemed so sad this morning/I guess he's not feeling well!!"

I bet you can guess what Husband found in Bug's classroom. That's right: Bug, without a trace of any problem! Husband asked him about his ear. Bug's reply? "Yes, my ear hurt. It not hurt now!"

I mean, what is this kid doing that one slightly quiet morning on his 4th day of school is cause for alarm?!

Alternate closing thought: WHAT THE HECK were these people thinking, calling me for a 99F temperature?!?! (I know, I know, better safe than sorry...)

Wet With Cabin Fever

Thanks to Hurricane/Tropical Storm Fay, we've been out of school for 2 days now. Thankfully, neither day was really warranted for where we are (And be assured that our hearts go out to those whose lives have been drastically changed by this storm. There are folks who are going to need a LOT of help after all this.)

But seriously, the storm path has pretty much looked like this:



So the school boards keep shutting down the schools! I can't blame them, but there's only so much time you can stay indoors before you begin contemplating putting yourself on ebay.

A friend and I decided to combine forces. There is some weird law of nature that says the more kids you combine, the more they will occupy each other & stop annoying you. (up to an unspecified limit!). Since our kids are essentially the same ages, it worked well.

We baked lots of chocolately goodies (krispy treats, chocolate chip cookie bar, cheesecake cheeseball, and chocolate pudding pie, pictured here)



The girls played Barbies.


Lots of dress up.


Pop in a movie when we can't think of any more indoor stuff.


Toss the kids outside when we can't take the running around anymore!


They're ingenious - check out their rain shelters!


Checking out the storm that isn't there (this was while the eye was over us).


The storm inside was far greater than the one outside!!


The eye has passed us, so we are back in wet, rainy conditions. Schools are supposed to be open tomorrow, though. Fingers crossed - we are not out of the woods yet, since the storm is going to pass back over us AGAIN (remember that road sign?!), but we are in good shape for now.

First Day

The morning started off like many others - dark and quiet. I heard my alarm clock for the first time in a couple of months. Can't say that I liked it, but it was necessary or I never would have gotten out of bed!

By 6:15 I had woken up enough to see if Bird was up yet - by some small miracle (or is it Murphy's Law?) she was still sleeping in her bed. Naturally, I spent a moment watching her breathe (even though she's five, it's still as pretty as when she was an infant) before pouncing on her.

Amazingly, when she's waking up she still stretches just like she did as a baby. And when I whispered in her ear that "Kindergarten starts TODAY!", she was sunny side up in an instant.

Everything about the day seemed bright and sunny to her. She even ASKED me to take pictures, rather than run from the room screaming "No more!!" A bit concerned over the size of her tote bag, she complained it was too heavy. I suspect the straps are still so new they are slippery, since I'm pretty sure she can handle carrying 10 pieces of paper.

It was very strange having someone in the backseat all the way to school, considering that normally I jettison the kids off partway. But it was nice having someone to talk to.

When we got to school they had the red carpet all rolled out and the music playing. (Really, they did! We try to celebrate the first day as much as possible.) The school mascot was out & roaming about, and we took our picture with him.

The elementary school has a tradition of starting the first day in the gym - it's the only place that will hold all the kids and at least one of their parents. It was neat - we pledged to the flag and sang a few songs together.

Eventually, they began dismissing everyone to their classrooms. They save kindergarten for last. Mainly because they ALL had parents, and we were all armed with cameras.

I was allowed to go with her as far as her classroom door. She had no problems waltzing right in.

I'm amazed at how one can feel joy, pride, and pain simultaneously.